Jeff Luhnow tweeted this link today. The page at the link is full of so many dots and graphs that to me it looks more like a Rhorshcah Test then a report on Bud Norris, which is what it actually is. If reading reports like this one helps Luhnow and his colleagues build the Astros into a winner than more power to them. As for me, I'll stick to following the Astros of the Future and writing an occasional poem, like the following.
ROHRSHACH AT THE BAT
The shortened days of winter
Got me down more than a bit
I often slid into a funk and stayed ensconced in it.
Until a friend who'd heard about my melancholic state
Referred me to his counselor, so I called and set a date.
Then Monday morning came and I was on the doctor's chair
I briefly told about my blues: the reason I was there.
The healer heard my story, nodded sympathetically
And then described the next step that she'd like to take with me.
"When I show you a picture, tell me what it is you see.
Don't hesitate, don't think just blurt it out, direct and free."
She held the first card up as soon as I said, "That sounds fine."
I blurted out, "That looks just like an old ball glove of mine."
She jotted down a note before she held up number two.
That picture was a "walk-off ground rule double", it is true.
The third blotch struck me quickly like a pitch too far inside
"I see a closer quickly striking out the other side."
She went through every card and made a note of each reply.
I didn't crush each offering, but you can bet that I tried.
"A grand slam by a rookie; A veteran's final game;
An error by a shortstop and the fans who curse his name."
Describing blotches was quite fun and I was in the zone
"It looks like Charlie Kerfeld. On his head, there is a cone."
We went through 56 cards, then the doctor said, "Well done,
I think I see a way to put your blues out on the run.
It's clear that you'll be cured if you do just one simple thing:
Get yourself to the ball park for a healthy dose of spring."